Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Randomize
