Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
