where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
