K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
