can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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