i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
