I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
