i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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