If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
a search helicopter?!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
