those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
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