I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
