Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Randomize
