Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
