Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
What did we do last night that was yellow?
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Randomize
