ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
