yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
