I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
