Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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