Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
