woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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