Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize