Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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