Joe is yelling at the trees again.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I feel like abortions should bother me more
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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