My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize