I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
