Plan B is the new Plan A
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
