Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
