Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
