you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
