I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
