I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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