Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
