Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
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