so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
She's the barista slut.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
