If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Randomize
