I'm so fucking centered right now
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
