My underwear smells like fireworks.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I had to cum in my sink.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize