Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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