i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
