Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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