Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
