I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Randomize
