I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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