i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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