Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
