drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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