so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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