I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
