I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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