So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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