I wannas sexs uuuuu
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize