New invention idea: vibrating tampons
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
