worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Randomize
