I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
