You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
