living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
You left your phone here
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