you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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