C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
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