the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Randomize
