i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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