Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
