Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
