So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
