i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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