i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
