The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
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