people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
