I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
