Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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