It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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