he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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