hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Randomize
