have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
