Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
