And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize