I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
