I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
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