She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
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