You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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