Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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