Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
