do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
