Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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