evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
