We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
This toilet bowl is my home.
Randomize
