I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize