i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize