The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
