it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
