Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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